The ability to lead is a difficult path to travel if you don’t know how and why you respond to situations. Most folks, as they live their lives, are captive to their emotions(meaning as they experience them they act according); what they lack is a relationship with their emotions(meaning as their emotions come they are able to check the situation and manage their response based on the circumstance).
Emotional management (EM) is needed if you want to be a great captain/leader. EM is not you always stuffing in your anger or disappointments for the betterment of the team. What it is though, at least in part, is you understanding when is the best time to share your disappointments, loves, or maybe just whatever task needs to get done minus the emotions.
It really all begins with you accurately pinpointing what emotions you are having (because it is possible that you may not label them right…some may feel the same). You can mistake frustration with anger, happiness with contentment, or discomfort with madness.
As a leader these emotions usually pop up because you have a journey you wanted to take the team on and someone probably “jumped ship” and didn’t do what you wanted and now your emotions are lighting up. The growth area that I am trying to point out for you is that you must accurately identify what emotion you are having and why. Your emotion really may not be as bad as you might be labeling it.
And if so, you can easily rectify the issue through great communication of the situation. A leader should be able to have their emotions, speak about their emotions yet not be emotional… especially if being emotional will put up a barrier for the real meaning of the conversation to be heard and understood.
Here are two examples(good & bad) of a leader communicating with a teammate who is constantly late:
Captain: “When I ask you to get to practice on time and you don’t reach within our norm time, I truly get frustrated because I don’t understand why it seems like you are nonchalant about being late. Help me to understand, from how you see things, why getting here early is difficult or not a big deal.”
Captain: “Why can’t you get here on time!? Sheesh! It’s not that hard! I’m not trying to be your babysitter and I don’t want to run sprints for you either!”
The first example the leader is able to identify and communicate in words their emotion. The other example the leader uses their emotion to communicate their words.
The first step to being good at this is to correctly identify your emotions. You can find some lists of emotions on-line(of course google).
How good at this are you?
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