Now-a-days Christian folk have what amounts, to me at least, to a talking point – “It’s not about religion, it’s about relationship.”

I want to borrow that for what I am about to say, “Leadership isn’t about a position, it’s about relationship.”

As we all know (or maybe soon to find out if you live long enough), relationships always will bring some kind of conflict. Why???? Because it’s two or more people coming together to do something. So as captains, please quickly remind yourself that the conflicts that you see within your team is a necessary part of building a unit.

Conflict is normal.

Here’s what should worry you. If you have a fairly new team and nobody has yet been in any kind of disagreement. Either the recruiting system in your program is top notch perfect or your teammates are tolerating each other. And since there is no such thing as a perfect recruiting system and at best, toleration restricts the flow of communication…It’s just a matter of time before it conflict explodes the facade of peace.

So if conflict is a norm to team bonding then so should confrontation.

As captain, you should have the tools to be able to allow the pressure to be released (you have to allow the team a place to vent), while you manage and facilitate the venting. Here’s a good thought. If anyone on your team is upset enough to talk that means that they actually value something strong enough to not want to have it seemingly “messed with”.

Your job is to “remove the husk, to get to the kernel”.

Confrontation is not in telling the person to stop acting that way(although it may be if the person is acting like the picture above), it’s in finding out what core value that person is trying to protect.

They could be trying to protect their sense of individuality, and the concept of “true team” is taking that away or it may seem like that for the person. It may be person’s first time trying to be in a team, or maybe they really just have a bad attitude.

Anyway, that is the job of the captain to figure out. So be more curious about what is bothering your teammates, it may be that you all share the same value and that can be the beginning of the beautiful relationship called team.
~

Have you experienced any conflict? What good confrontation ideas or insights can you share to help others?
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