I want to share something with you guys and invite you into some of the conversations I’ve had with my mentor. There are many relationships that you will have throughout your lives but one that will be most life forming will be the one with whom you allow to personally shape how you could potentially see things. We call these people mentors.
Here are some thoughts that my mentor taught me that I absolutely live by:
Never attempt to build a life in the perception of another man’s gaze. Especially if you don’t know the deep inner workings of that person’s understandings. If you do, you’re actually training yourself to build a life on external trappings. A man is built from the inside-out not the outside-up.
You should never put more weight on what other people think about you if you don’t know how that person actually views and understands life. My mentor told me to never take character building advice from someone if all they saw were your limited actions. “That person,” he would say “is a flatterer, or worse…Stay away! You never have to construct yourself according to how other people think you should be…especially when they haven’t taken the time to know you.”
From a psyche POV, the thing you’ll notice about life is that a young man’s mentality seeks confidence but a wise man’s mentality seeks ‘being’.
So you’ll notice that young men look for their confidence through recognition of social value (i.e. skills or things); they seek admirers even if the admirer only ends up being themselves.
You’ll also notice that a wise man looks for his being or essence through principled-truths, keeps his head down and follows that path. He finds his settled mind through purpose not the perception of others.
They both add social value and you can only find out who is who if you get to know them…you have to hear them talk. “Always seek and connect with the wise friends.”
Just wanted to share some of the thoughts I found to be honest, helpful and true