“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping and then, with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.“ – George Eliot
The process of growing, whether we’re developing for sports or moving towards a new habit, is very uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable because we aren’t that good at the skill we’re moving towards yet. The feeling of going through the daily grind of pushing forward is like if you just heard some burdensome news right before you are to work as a clown at a toddlers birthday party.
You are wearing a different face than what you are feeling.
Why do I say that developing feels like that? Because you are wearing a way of being that is different that what you are at the moment. You’re attempting to live from a habit that is not habitual. It is during these transition moments that having the right people around is critical for your growth.
Although The Core Four Sequence has elements with 4-mile-markers the often overlooked element by others when talking about it is the Rest Stop. The Rest Stop has meaning for two areas we address in our work – Performance & Life.
For Performance the Rest Stop represents the ability to stop our thinking and get into a place of only observational rest and allow our body to bring forth the skills by itself.
For Life it represents us having the right people needed for us to be ourselves with; not the person we aren’t yet but the person we are in-between the journey.
If we have to continually keep our “developmental face” on even around our close friends then we risk the oversize burden of burn-out. Because although the burden doesn’t move the needle on the scale in our bathroom, it weighs us down and zaps all the energy out of our lives.
Personally, I’ve had people in the sports industry tell others that I said I knew nothing about Sport Psychology, but that’s before they found out that I have a Master’s level training in it. I’ve had people spread negative perspectives about me that if I shared my side of the story I could vindicate my name and throw their reputation in a different light but I keep silent. There’s always two-sides to a story and then the truth’s. I’ve had people go out of their way to say that what I’m teaching is irrelevant to performance (although our military says different).
I share these because in some ways, if we are attempting any growth, we all will bump into these types of burdensome moments along with the burden of stretching our potential. If we don’t have friends who we can be our quirky selves with, how much of that burden could we take? If we don’t have friends who really care about our well-being and remind us of the valuable areas in us that others and circumstances attempt to cover over, would we even remember that part of us?
Growth is like breaking the sound barrier. The closer you get, the more what’s outside is shaking you trying to get you to stop. But then you break free…BOOM….silence. That is what your Rest Stop represents. Find the people who are that for you and develop the skill to push through all sounds and break into silence for yourself. #PushForward #Supersonic
© 2018, Ira Webbe Jr, all rights reserved