In early January 2019, my mom admitted my father into the ER with swelling in his extremities. His body was already becoming increasingly weak and this was just another blow to our family’s resolve. Since he came back home from that ER visit, he has remained bedridden to this day. What this does to the kind of effort my 74-yr-old mother has to give as a sole caretaker is a burden no person would want to carry alone.
If you’ve ever been a caretaker or worked in a hospital you probably know what efforts are included in being a caretaker for a bedridden person.
I know I haven’t written a blog post for a while…I’m naturally a private person AND introverted. Go figure why I have chosen to create blog.
The distance I have created between myself and blogging came about because of this situation. If you’ve read this older post you would know that the caretaker role isn’t new for my mom, it just became exponentially more burdensome. So, I decided to go home to see how I could be of help for a while. Where is home? St Thomas Virgin Islands.
I packed a carry-on, and flew from Newark, NJ to St Thomas. I’ve been here since the middle of January…living out of that same carry-on. I really thought I would be here for a couple of months but the care taker role is more difficult than I thought it would be. We have to figure this out together.
Why am I writing about this? Maybe for catharsis. Maybe to rekindle my journey in blogging. But definitely to share…to break out of my introversion one more time.
Here are two things that I’ve recognized during this time.
1). Love is being present in the story of the object of your desire
Since I’ve been back home, many people have told me how inspiring it is to see what I’m doing. They’ve said that they see a difference in the countenance of my mom (not just attitude but her physical look). If attentive, one can see how being actually present with someone can impact their entire being. That’s love.
Love is being present in the story of the object of your desireTweet
2.) Loving those you like is easy but Loving those you dislike is commanded
We’ve been listening to sermons everyday as we wash my father and an idea from a sermon struck a chord with me. In the ancient scriptures found in the Bible (Matthew 5:43-48), Jesus mentions that there really isn’t a reward for you if you love those who love you. What difference, Jesus quips, does that show between a ‘righteous’ and ‘unrighteous’ person if they love the same way – loving only those who love them?
Being a disciple of Jesus guides you to show a different kind of Love. Let’s bring back in the first point. If Love is being present in the story of the object of your desire, and God is that object, are we willing to be present in how Love is viewed and towards whom it is shown?
I could easily take every good thing that has been said about me helping my parents and live a life of pride or I can accept those things AND let the scriptures stretch my understanding to places I would rather not go.
This has my meditation during these times:
Can I do for someone I do not care for, what I am willing to do for my parents because God wants to be present with that person in their story?
Just a thought to journey through.
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