George Floyd is murdered.

We’re upset.

There are protests.

There are riots.

There are lootings.

I’m mad. I’m confused. I’m experiencing an odd mix of emotions at the same time and I’m not sure that there’s an actual label for the concoction. It feels like it’s hard to blink. If you know what that is let me know.

When my mind gets overwhelmed and can’t comfortably grasp the thoughts pouring within my soul, I do what I know best – analyze my psychology from a performance pov.

Performance psych analyzing is meant to help manage our mental potential in the face of forces (i.e. environmental, social and personal) actively against us being able to do so. This is an oversimplification but so what!

So let me go through my process. There are 3 questions that I cycle through and empty myself of all that’s within:

“What do you see?”

This question is used to seek out what is triggering my energy. This is a free flow expression.

I see dead black man that didn’t need to die. I see an intentional “missed” opportunity, by the officer, to just check George’s vitals. I see pain and hurt. I see ANGER. I see slavery. I see NO NEVER AGAIN! I see misdirected aggression. I see political usurpers. I see herding instead of empowering leadership.

I see possible miseducation…maybe. Here’s what I mean. There is a difference between the production cycle and the “system”.

The production cycle is inherent in nature. It’s the cycle that goes from raw materials to waste/recycling. For example. A tree grows fruit. We can manufacture something from it, like pie. We transport it to family. We store it. We consume it. Waste.
(side note: We can see this cycle all throughout nature and outside of the actual Kingdom Of God, no institution owns this cycle.)

The “system” is the set of thoughts and principles backed by research (such as it is), placed into laws/policies and enforced/backed up by the power of our judicial branch that is meant to help govern the efficiencies of all interactions of living within our production cycle.

I took a break from writing because I got mad again. I paced my dining room floor. My feelings are boiling over.

ok…I’m back.

I see two things hard to grasp. This could be the core of my odd emotional mix.

I understand the need for getting the attention of those in power. But the consistent burning down of a segment of your production cycle thinking it hurts the “system” makes no sense. It’s like being in war and destroying your own supply route – Your re-up connect (who consciously does that?). There’s only one faction of people for whom this makes sense…anyway…

I see an enemy that is covert and patently invisible because it’s a thought and unfortunately a cornerstone for some people still. When the system was being built, it was built with a cornerstone idea as the plumb line that governed all interactions – namely, that Black people were less than human and definitely created to be subservient to the “scientifically verified” greater race, white people. This thought was the ‘hidden’ foundation of the policies of America. The constitution was not the foundation. The constitution was used as the drywall; you look at it and cover it over with your style of wallpaper but you don’t stand on it.

That cornerstone thought, in my opinion, sunk deep into the dna of folk who are right now sitting behind policies that may be pro-humanity but ran by some who believe some humans are less than.

I contemplate to continue my psychology process in this post but I think this may already be too long for the average reader. I decide against it. Will finish capturing my process in my next blog post.

Oh yeah…here’s something else that I see…
I see a plumb line in the hand of God that is measuring the true interactive dimensions of life. I see the circumcision of leaders who fall outside of that measurement starting first in the self-proclaimed church. The cornerstone is righteousness and justice. But we have built our house on the cornerstone of superior status and greed. (watch this short video on the book of Amos)

The next question in my process is:

What do I NOT want to see?

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